Friday's Flashback - Winter Student

Instead of following the traditional start of college in the Fall semester, I was a Winter student when I went away to school at Northeastern University in Boston, MA, at the beginning of January, '81.

I hadn’t planned it that way. Growing up, it was always assumed that I would graduate from high school – Franklin D. Roosevelt High in Hyde Park, NY – and then attend Dutchess, the local community college, for two years. I would major in English and get an Associate’s Degree, and then transfer to the nearest state college, in New Paltz, to finish my Bachelor’s Degree in English and Journalism.

But I abruptly changed my plans during my senior year. I was feeling overwhelmed by some family problems and wanted to get away and out on my own. And then Scott, my boyfriend during that time, had been accepted to Northeastern, as a journalism major, and he told me about their co-operative education program – a unique curriculum where the academic courses of study are interspersed with paid internships that give students hands-on work experiences and also helps to offset their tuition expenses. I was interested, and as I learned more about NU, I saw that this was an opportunity to go away to a private university in a city atmosphere.

There wasn’t enough time to apply for the Fall, so I applied for the Winter instead. I remember getting the acceptance letter, and feeling like the path of possibilities was wide open. I would study journalism and communications, and hoped that I could get a co-op job at the Boston Globe.

During the Fall and the holiday season, while most everyone I knew who went to college was involved with adjusting to classes and campus life, I was busy working at a retail catalog center, so I could earn some money for school. NU would be expensive, even with a grant and student loan. Scott came home from time to time, and told me about his classes, the campus, and his new friends. But it seemed so remote to me, and I couldn’t wait until the new year, so I could start my new life as a student.

Because of its co-op program, NU operated on an academic quarter calendar, rather than the traditional semesters. So, I was college-bound on the first weekend of January – a couple of weeks earlier than most students. I remember that it was a cold but clear Sunday, and my parents drove both Scott and I and all of my clothes and dorm furnishings, on a 4-hour trip straight across the Mass Pike, until we got to Boston.

My family and I had only been to Massachusetts once, on a camping trip to Plymouth and Cape Cod, but had never been to Boston. I had applied to Northeastern sight-unseen. In hindsight, it was kind of risky, to decide to go to the college without even having a campus trip. But as we got closer to the city, and Scott pointed out some of Boston’s landmarks, like Fenway Park; the “T” trolley trains moving alongside the thruway; the Prudential Tower, known as the “Pru;” and the John Hancock skyscraper, the tallest building in the city, I felt a rising sense of excitement rather than apprehension of moving to a strange place.

Finally, we arrived on campus – gray concrete buildings lining each side of Huntington Avenue; with academic buildings on one side and dormitories on the other side – and my assigned dorm, Stetson West, one of a cluster of 4-story student housing buildings.

My parents and Scott helped me bring all of my stuff inside and up to my dorm room – a basic double, with built-in dresser, twin bed, and desk lined up along each wall and a large picture window facing the grass and concrete courtyard below. My roommate hadn’t arrived yet – she didn’t show up until the next day because she lived nearby – so I just picked a side and got everything settled.

I remember that we walked back down to the parking lot, and I hugged my parents goodbye. My mom was a bit teary-eyed, but I told her not to worry – I’d be just fine. Scott and I hung out for a little while, but then he went to his dorm to catch up with his friends and to get to bed early, because classes started the next day.

I was tired, but too excited to get any rest. I had brought some of my favorite books, and I remember organizing them on the built-in shelves above the desk. I could hear the sounds of students talking as they filled up the hallway outside – of course, they’d started together in the Fall and already knew each other. Then there was a knock on my door.

It was the floor’s resident advisor, a blonde upper-classman – I can’t recall her name right now, but she was nice and welcoming. She said there were a few other girls who were new Winter students on the floor, and beckoned me to follow her down to a dorm room down the hall. She knocked on the open door, and introduced me to the dark-haired girl inside.

Her name was Tracey, and she was a business major from Maryland. Her roommate hadn’t arrived yet, either, so we just hung out together and talked, until it was late. Our backgrounds were different, but we shared similar tastes in books and music, and of course, our Winter student status. I remember turning in for the night, feeling that I’d made the right choice to go to NU.

Classes started the next day, but first I had to get a student ID. I remember exactly what I wore – a cream and burgundy pinstriped shirt; high-waisted baggy jeans with off-white suspenders; and brown high-heeled Candies clogs. I tamed my frizzy hair with a curling iron into the winged style that was still so prevalent then. The picture isn’t very good – the harsh flash made me look really pale, I think – but my smile shows that I was glad to be there.

Right from the start, it wasn’t easy to be away at school in Boston. Classes were a challenge compared to high school – I remember one history class assigning ten books to read and ten papers to write during the 10-week quarter. And the remedial math class that I was required to take was still above my numerically-challenged head. The stresses of over-caffeinated all-night study sessions made me an always-tired insomniac, and didn’t help my ulcer. I didn’t have much spending money, so I couldn’t go out to enjoy Boston as often as other students did. Within the first few weeks, Scott and I broke up, although we did stay friends for awhile. And a couple of weeks after that, my mom called to tell me that my dad was in the hospital after having a heart attack. That was the one thing that made me question what I was doing so far away from my family and home. But when my mom said that he’d be OK; he’d just have to have several months off from work to recover, I decided to stick it out, as long as I could. I felt that it was worth it, and it was.

I really liked my English and communications classes, and did well in them. I read some great modern and classic literature and wrote papers that got good grades. I had some interesting professors – one of my English lit profs was an Ireland buff, and one day, he tossed aside the syllabus to lecture us about the Irish Republican political prisoner Bobby Sands, who’s just died on a hunger strike. Then the professor sang “Danny Boy” as a tribute to the fallen rebel, as us students just sat there, dumbstruck.

I got to see the Museum of Fine Arts and the Museum of Science, with reduced student admission. I saw a couple of hockey games (the Northeastern Huskies were on a winning streak that year); basketball games, and a football game. I wrote for the campus newspaper, and contributed to a student literary journal. And there were always dorm parties, nearby frat parties, and a lot of ongoing campus drama, so my friends and I were never bored.

I ended up staying through the Spring, Summer and Fall quarters, until the financial aid requirements changed the following year, and I didn’t have enough money to stay. I did remain in Boston for two more years, before I moved back home. At the time, it felt like a setback, but I slowly grew to appreciate living in the Hudson Valley. It's good to live near my family and to be able to see them whenever I want to. And I've met a lot of great people, and have some good longtime friends.

Ironically, I ended up taking some English and communications classes at Dutchess Community College, as I’d originally planned. And about ten years ago, I completed a two-year journalism program at NYU. And I’ve taken an ongoing small-group writing class and several writing workshops over the years.

I sometimes wish things had turned out differently, and I sometimes think about moving back, especially whenever I visit Boston and realize how much I miss it. But looking back, I’m glad I had that year of school, and that time in Boston. As brief as it was, I learned a lot, both in and out of the classroom. And that’s an education I’ll always appreciate.

(finished writing on Friday January 6)

Kim Sabatini's book Touching The Surface Surfaces as an Advance Readers Copy

This afternoon, I had lunch with my newly-published author friend Kim Sabatini. We planned to meet at Sugar and Spice, a cafe in the same plaza that my boyfriend Ian works in.

I was waiting on a bench outside the café, when Kim came rushing breathlessly down the mall hallway, clutching a large mailing envelope in her hand. She said she was so glad that she received it this morning, in time for lunch so she could share the news with me, as she pulled out a paperback Advanced Reader Copy (ARC) of her book, Touching The Surface!

Then we were squealing and hugging, and I was congratulating her over and over again – I was so happy to see this new major milestone in her journey to her book’s publication – truly as excited as if it was happening to me.

It was awesome to actually touch a printed and bound copy of Touching The Surface!

I can’t wait to read it in its finished form – I almost wanted to skip lunch and just start reading!

After a couple of hours of good food and eager chatter, we visited Ian at the photo lab that he manages, showed him the ARC, and asked him to take a picture of us with it, to mark this special day.

Kim is one of the best people I know, and a wonderful writer too – she and her book are so deserving of publication. When her father passed away several years ago, she was inspired to create a story about a teen girl’s experiences in the afterlife, and soon after, joined our local chapter of the Society of Children's Book Writers and Illustrators, for its local ShopTalk meetings.

With her optimistic outlook and exuberant energy, Kim has added so much to our SCBWI group. From the start, she’s been eager to learn everything about writing, and the children's and teens book markets, and she has hopefully shared her promising book with everyone in the group, as she wrote it from its earliest stages to its in-shape-for-submission manuscript. And she’s appreciated every opinion, bit of feedback, and piece of advice that she received. I could tell right away that her story was special – heartfelt and well-written – and had no doubts that one day it would be a success.

She has also given positive and encouraging critiques of my writings and those of the other writers in the group. She’s been an ardent admirer of the publishing successes of Karen Kaufman Orloff (author of the picture books I Wanna Iguana; I Wanna New Room and If Mom Had Three Arms); Della Ross Ferreri (author of the picture books Star of the Show; Picnic on the Sidewalk and How Will I Ever Sleep in This Bed?) and Roxanne Werner, whose children’s story, “Snowday in Space” was Highlight Magazine’s 2008 Fiction Contest winner. And she’s been a vibrant presence at every local SCBWI writing conference, since the first one she attended in 2007.

As her book manuscript progressed, Kim has shared each step, big and small – from her spiritual writing epiphanies to her revision challenges to her 33 queries in the search for an agent. Almost exactly a year ago, she signed with agent Michelle Wolfson, who sold Touching The Surface to editor Anica Rissi at Simon Pulse, the teen imprint of Simon & Schuster, in mid-February. As Kim has shared her wonderful news with those of us in the Shop Talk group, as well as with her family and other friends, she’s always made sure to let everyone know how instrumental they were in contributing to her writing success. She’s written over four pages of Acknowledgments for her book, and she was so excited to show me my name in her thank-yous. This meant so much to me – I told her it was such an honor to see my name printed there, and to be able to share in her writing success!

And Kim has helped me so much with my writing, as a reader and editor of my works-in-progress; an understanding support system when I’ve felt directionless; a cheerful cheerleader when I’ve overcome some of my (mostly self-imposed) writing hurdles and have made some progress; and a great companion at two of the SCBWI conferences in NYC. She’s confident that I can see a book project through to the end, and sure that I’ll have my own writing success in time.

(Kim and I at the 2010 SCBWI NYC conference - all photos courtesy of Kim Sabatini.)

And that gives me even more incentive to keep writing, through all the ups and downs of my creative journey and book-project excursions. Because I want to give Kim a reason to be as proud of me as I am of her and her amazing writing.

So here it is – the beautiful cover of Touching the Surface.

And the appealing, intriguing back-jacket copy:

“Life-altering mistakes are meant to alter lives…

When Elliot dies for the third time, she knows this is her last shot. There are no fourth-timers in this afterlife, so one more chance is all she has to get things right. But before she can move on to her next life, Elliot will be forced to face her past and delve into the painful memories she’d rather keep buried. Memories of people she’s hurt, people she’s betrayed… and people she’s killed.

As she pieces together the pieces of her past, Elliot must earn the forgiveness of her best friend and reveal the truth about herself to the two boys she loves… even if it means losing them both forever.”

(Book cover and jacket copy courtesy of Kim Sabatini and Simon Pulse.)

I can’t wait until this coming September, to be able to buy a copy of Touching The Surface (and asking Kim to sign it, of course!) and to be able to read every page of what I know is an excellent and very special work of art and heart.

Kim has a far-reaching online presence, including her soon-to-be active website; her blog at http://kimberlysabatini.blogspot.com; her author page on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/pages/Kimberly-Sabatini/159269477461554; her Twitter at http://twitter.com/#!/KimSabatini; and her Tumblr at http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/kim-sabatini. Her positive personality sparkles as much online as it does in person.

Congratulations, Kim, on your latest writing milestone, and thanks again for sharing it with me! ♥

Wednesday On Writing - Writing With "Dragon"

I'm trying out this Dragon Naturally Speaking speech-recognition dictation program again. I haven't used it since Ian got his new computer, but just before New Year’s, he hooked it up for me and helped me with the set up. He also loaded it into my laptop, so ideally, I should be able to write anywhere and not just at this desktop computer. I hope it will help me to be more productive with my writing, especially since I've been having recurring pain and numbness with my shoulder, arm and hand. It figures that of all places for me to have pain it would have to be my writing arm.

It's definitely a little weird using this program. I have to train it to understand and interpret my voice and that's not easy because I tend to talk fast, and, with my long-time sinus problem, my voice is nasally. The last time I used the program, to type Michelle's first draft of her Blackboard book a few years back, there were all kinds of odd little typos and misinterpretations. It was pretty funny!

And it's also a little strange dictating my words into a microphone rather than writing them out in longhand or typing them. When I think of dictation, I picture some kind of retro-era businessman or professor or pompous autobiographer walking around his office, telling his secretary what to write in a business letter, classroom plan, or memoir., And the secretary furiously scribbling in shorthand or speed typing at over hundred words per minute.

But, with the recent developments in voice activation technology, anyone should be able to use it for any form of writing, as shown in the Dragon commercials currently on cable TV. And in many cases it can be easier to use Dragon, rather than traditional methods of writing.

After all, what is writing anyway but a form of communication? I guess I have to get over the idea that writing must be done with a pen or a computer keyboard. There have been some amazing works written with nontraditional methods, by authors who have been disabled in some way. Stephen Hawking has written many science books by twitching his facial muscle at letters on a computer screen until those letters make up words and sentences. The Irish author Christy Brown, who had severe cerebral palsy, wrote several books using just his left foot – as depicted in the biographical movie, My Left Foot. And Helen Keller wrote her many essays and books on a Braille typewriter and also used a manual alphabet to dictate her words into the hands of her editor.

I would never think to compare myself in any way to these remarkable and renowned people – I’m just mentioning them to back up the fact that writing can be done in many different forms. And I’m very grateful that my pain condition is not a serious disability.

But at the same time, I’m also glad there’s a program like Dragon, to make writing a bit more manageable and less frustrating, when I’m not able to use the pen or keyboard. And I hope I can become adept in using it, and that it will help me to be more successful in accomplishing my writing goals this year, and in the future.

New Year's Writing Goals for 2012

January 1, 2012 - 9:30 pm

“Goals are dreams with deadlines.”

My friend Michelle e-mailed this quote as a New Year’s greeting to me and her other friends. I related to it right away, and wrote back to her, saying that I’m making this my mantra for the New Year.

The quote was sent to her as a New Year’s newsletter from Infinity Publishing, a self-publishing house. It wasn’t ascribed to anyone, so I did a Google search on it. Renowned self-improvement author Napoleon Hill said, “A goal is a dream with a deadline.” But the actual wording of the Infinity Publishing quote is attributed to Diana Scharf Hunt, the author of some study guides for students, and a book that sounds really interesting to me – The Tao of Time.

The description of the book says, "Drawing on the timeless wisdom of the East, The Tao of Time provides a whole new approach to time management that gives the reader productivity as well as freedom and fulfillment. With visualizations, awareness exercises, and examples from executives and time-study experts, this book will help readers manage and enjoy their entire life."

It seems to be out-of-print, but I think I want to try to find a used copy to order. Time management is always an issue for me, and I think the Eastern approach would be good for my right-brained, ADD way of thinking.

And I have the quote in mind, as I’m once again creating a list of writing goals for the New Year. Many are the same ones that I’ve made and written in my past blog posts each January 1^st. I feel like the proverbial resolution-makers and breakers, who each year promise themselves they’ll lose weight or quit smoking or save more money, only to find themselves back to start at the beginning of the next year.

But today, on the first day of 2012, I’m feeling more committed to my writing goals, as well as my general goals of each New Year, like taking better care of my health and spending more quality time with my family and friends. Maybe it’s because I haven’t been feeling well lately, so I’m more aware that I’m getting older and am not physically as young as I mentally and emotionally feel. Or maybe it’s because I can remember past New Year’s Eves and Days from years ago, as clearly as if they were just last year. I feel like time moves by faster than I can measure or keep up, and I can’t get it back again. So I want to actually make some progress this year – with my writing goals especially.

As always, I want to finish at least one of my book projects. Last year, I did pretty well with my teen novel, disAPPEAR, especially during “March Madness – Writer’s Style,” the novel-in-a-month writing challenge I took on with my writing friends Michelle, Lisa and Janine. But I ended up putting that project on the back-burner, because it seemed way too close to my real-life teen years for comfort.

I’ve thought about getting back to What Luck, my tween novel – I was more than halfway through the first draft before shelving it a couple of years ago. So I might take a look at it and see what I can do to finish it.

I also have a teen time-travel novel, inspired by the Dover Stone Church, in mind, and a different time-travel scenario for a small series of teen books. I’ve done some early research and made notes on each of them, but don’t know yet which one to start first.

But the story that’s held my attention and interest the most lately is my adult time-travel novel, about the woman who meets up with her 20-years-younger self, and inadvertently switches places with her. I haven’t had much time for actual writing in the past few months, mostly because of the hectic retail holiday season at work, but I have done some online research and I’ve written some plot notes and character sketches. So for now, that’s the story I’ll focus on the most. And I’ll do my best to see it through to the end of at least a first draft, this year.

I also plan to keep up with my journal writing, as often as possible. Ideally, I’d like to write Morning Pages every day, based on Julia Cameron’s program in her book, The Artist’s Way. But it will be fine if I can write in my journal at least 4 – 5 mornings or nights a week.

And then there’s this blog. In past years, I started a brand new blog each January 1^st. But I kept the same blog from 2009 – 2010, and this year, I’m continuing this one. I think the consistency will help my writing. But I want to post much more frequently, so I think I want to try a posting schedule, like I’ve seen in many other blogs.

Several blogs use alliterative post titles, like “Tuesday’s Thoughts” and “Wordless Wednesdays.” So I’m going to try something like that. I’ll start off with three posts a week: “Monday’s Muse” – about something that inspires my writing, or the time-travel themes of some of my books. And “Wednesday on Writing” – an update on my writing projects, or something I’ve read or found out about an author, book trends, or publishing in general. And “Flashback Friday” – a memory of something that happened during the same week in my past. I’ll probably write some other posts too, any time there’s something significant going on that pertains to writing or creativity. So I’ll see how that works out.

And my deadline for accomplishing these writing goals will be by this time, next year. So hopefully, my post for that New Year's Day will be about these dreams becoming a reality.

Happy 2012 New Year, everyone!

Time For a Blog Reboot

November 24, 2011 - 3:40 am

Today was a double-holiday for me – Thanksgiving, as well as my birthday. Since holidays – especially birthdays – tend to be significant time markers, it seems to be a good time to resume my blog again. A kind of reboot: Writing On Time, Version 2.0.

Looking back over my previous blog posts, I realized that I haven’t kept up with the blog since June, when I wrote a memorial to my aunt. That’s about five months. Between work and personal issues, I let the time get away from me, and I wasn’t as creatively productive as I want to be.

But birthdays can be a chance for renewal, so I’m renewing my writing goals, but this time, it’s with a realistic framework, given the current circumstances in this life.

It’s a demanding time at work – tomorrow is Black Friday, and Christmas is just a month away. A lot of my physical and mental energy will be spent on making it through the frenzied retail holiday season – “without being taken out of the bookstore in handcuffs, or a straightjacket, or a body bag,” as I always say! And I’ll spend my hours away from the store trying to catch up on rest, and trying to see my family and some friends.

I know I won’t have much time or mental clarity to focus on any long writing projects, at least until the New Year. But I’ll try to keep my thoughts connected to my two novel projects that have been on the front-burner in my mind, and I’ll make notes, work on character profiles and plot points, and write scenes as often as I can. I’ll also write in my journal every day that I can, and I’ll try to post a lot more often in this blog.

And, since it’s Thanksgiving, I’m thinking of all the things that I’m grateful for in this life: My family, and the fact that they’re all here and healthy enough to celebrate this Thanksgiving together. Ian and my friends and extended family – I never get to spend enough time with many of them ( if Ian and I didn’t live together, we would never get to see each other!) but I really appreciate them all. All of my favorite books, music, movies and television shows – they are so creatively inspiring, and also provide a great distraction from the stresses of day to day life. And most of all, my writing ability – I could never imagine this life and everything in this world (and beyond) without being able to see it all through a writer’s eyes and with a writer's mind.

So I think I need to honor this writing ability by renewing my commitment to writing. I will try my best to stay motivated, despite the time constraints and the ups and downs that may occur in the coming year. And, hopefully, it will be a much more productive time for me.

One of my birthday presents this year was from my sister, who’s a very creative and artistic multi-media craftsperson. She gave me some beautiful hand-beaded jewelry, and some pretty and cozy hand-crocheted accessories. But the best thing was this simple and inspiring framed print –

I’ve put it near my desk and Ian’s computer, so every time I sit down to write I can see it, and all of the components that make up a book and my writer’s life. I’ll work my way through my Fiction Stories, and bring my Characters to life, in Plots that I hope will be interesting. I’ll write Page by Page, until the Chapters build up, and one day (soon, I hope) I’ll type The End, and I’ll be the Author of a finished Book.

And hopefully, one day soon, I’ll be able to ask my sister to make up a new, revised print and add a word that will show my ultimate writing goal fulfilled – Published.

My Aunt's Inspiration

Yesterday I went with my parents to the funeral of my father’s sister – and my favorite aunt – Regina (Jean) DeMaroney. She passed away on Sunday, June 12^th, at the age of 83, in Madison, Wisconsin, where she and my uncle had moved several years ago, to be close to their only daughter; and their grandchildren and great-grandchildren. But the service was held in her hometown area of Standfordville, New York, at a picturesque country church filled with many relatives, love and memories.

My cousin Heather, Aunt Jean’s granddaughter, gave a heartfelt eulogy, emphasizing Aunt Jean’s love of family, and also her sense of fun and humor. Heather said that some of her best memories were of summers spent here in New York, and told of shopping trips and drives that were always adventures with Aunt Jean at the wheel! I remember many of them myself – when my sister and I were kids, she’d take my mom and us out, in her blue ‘60s Camaro convertible. My sister and I would sit in the back and beg her to put the top down. She always did, just for us, at the end of the drive, when it wouldn’t matter so much if her hair got windblown.

Then, other family members were invited to share their memories. At first, I thought I wouldn’t, because I’m not comfortable speaking in front of an audience. But, as I heard relatives remembering Aunt Jean’s great fashion sense; the pride she took in having a beautiful home; and how she was so helpful with renovating a cousin’s fixer-upper house, I felt that I wanted to talk about the love of books and writing that Aunt Jean and I shared. So, despite my discomfort and heightened emotion, I did. And I’m glad that I was able to honor my aunt’s creative side that was so inspiring to me.

I’ve been an avid reader since I first learned to read, and I’ve aspired to be a writer since I first learned to make up and write down stories in school. Aunt Jean was always interested in my stories, and encouraged me with my writing and reading. When she and my Uncle Lanny visited, I’d write little stories with pictures and give them to her. One story, that I wrote when I was in second grade, was about my cat Blackie. Many years later, when she hosted a family picnic, Aunt Jean brought out that little story and read it aloud to all of the relatives, to my chagrin and amusement! But she wanted everyone to know that she always believed in my writing talent. She was always interested to hear about my latest class paper, story idea or work-in-progress, and was proud of my high grades in English.

Whenever my family and I visited my aunt and uncle, they encouraged me to peruse their bookshelves, full of bestselling novels, interesting biographies and history titles. I borrowed and read many of their books, from Stephen King’s Carrie to Jessamyn West’s The Friendly Persuasion to Antonia Fraser’s Mary, Queen of Scots. And my aunt and I have had many great discussions about books over the years.

And sometimes, Aunt Jean would share poems that she’d written with me. She liked to write them, as an expression of her thoughts and feelings about the world around her, and she appreciated my feedback. But it seemed like writing was mostly an enjoyable hobby for her.

Until one day when she called and told me that she’d written a children’s picture book, and she wanted me to illustrate it. I wasn’t sure I could do it. I told her that I’m not an artist – I hadn’t picked up a paintbrush or even crayon since my school days (I was in my mid-twenties then). But she said she’d always loved my drawings, and she was sure I could bring her book to life. So how could I say no? Especially when she came over with the story – it was a sweet tale of an ant named Beauregard, and the adventures he had on a journey to visit his relatives in the big city. She’d also brought me some drawing paper and colored pencils, so I gave it a try. Over the next several months, she described the details of the story’s scenes that she envisioned, and I did my best to create drawings that matched, with her encouragement. The pictures turned out pretty well, and I was glad that she was pleased with them. It was an enjoyable and memorable collaboration.

She dreamed of sharing her book with children. My sister typed and proofread the manuscript, and Aunt Jean created a model copy of her book. She showed it to a local children’s book author once, and called me, enthused with the feedback. The author had said that the story was charming, and advised my aunt to take some courses to further develop her writing. I was so glad for her – I know how valuable positive professional feedback can be. And I encouraged her keep pursuing her goals, just as she always encouraged me.

When my aunt and uncle moved to Wisconsin, she enrolled in a creative writing class at the local college. At nearly sixty, she was one of the older students, but that didn’t deter her. She’d call me with the news of her latest assignment, excited that she’d shared her work with the teacher and students of all ages and backgrounds, and happy to hear their comments. She wrote poems in several different poetic forms; short stories; and a non-fiction piece about an unsolved murder that had happened decades ago in the area where she grew up and had fascinated her since she was young.

But her Beauregard story was still her favorite. And she had the opportunity to read it to the kids in the class that her daughter taught, and called to excitedly tell me about her experience. The children were delighted with the story, even drew their own pictures of their favorite scenes. It meant a lot to her to see and hear the natural reactions of the audience that the story was intended for, and even more, that they responded to it by creating artwork of their own. She was thrilled that she’d realized her dream of sharing her story with children; she was truly a children’s writer.

Aunt Jean has inspired me with her creative pursuits – she never let her age or lack of a literary college degree keep her from working toward her goals. And she always found enjoyment in her creativity, as much as in her finished works and her accomplishments.

So I’ll keep my aunt’s inspiration with me always, as I continue working on my own writing projects. And whenever I feel that my goals are a long-shot, or that I’m getting too old to keep it up, or I start to wonder why I’m still doing this, I’ll remember – Aunt Jean always kept reaching for her dreams. And I’ll be inspired to keep reaching for mine.

Thanks, Aunt Jean… with love.

March Madness Writer Style - The End of the Beginning

It’s March 31^st – the last day of the “March Madness – Writer Style” Novel-in-a-month challenge. And, unfortunately, I didn’t finish my first rough draft of disAppear. I fell pretty short of reaching the 50,000 words / 200 pages goal.

And I admit that I am a bit disappointed. I always seem to make goals and resolutions but then end up unable to reach them. But it’s OK. This writing challenge has been a good experience, despite how it’s turned out. And this is just the end of the beginning.

I also just finished reading No Plot? No Problem! – the NaNoWriMo writing guide by its founder, Chris Baty. At the end, he congratulates everyone who reached 50,000 words, but he also gives a still-congratulatory pep talk to those (like me) who fell short.

Here’s some of what he says (edited a bit):

“… if you fell a little short of 50,000 but still wrote your heart out, I have a little secret to share: In the course of this great experiment… the goal of 50,000 words has been, shall we say, overemphasized. … If you ‘only’ wrote 15,000 words over the past four weeks, you invented fifty… book pages of fiction. Those of you who made it to the 25,000-word point wrote eighty-three pages. In a month. … you chose to try. … You put your name out there for the world to see. You risked failure. And just by risking failure, you avoided it entirely. … You could have spent this month living your normal life. … Instead you agreed… to try and write more fiction than you ever have in a month. … You stepped up to the plate. And there is nothing more admirable… than someone willing to set for themselves the fearsome task of trying something big. So be proud, writer. You’ve done something fantastic this month, and I salute you for it.”

So, if the NaNoWriMo founder says it’s OK, then it will be OK with me. Because there are several things that I accomplished this past month –

*I wrote more words and pages in this month than I have in any other month, ever. Ian reminded me of this when I was lamenting to him last week that I probably wouldn’t make it to 50,000 words. He said, So what if you don’t? Just keep on writing – maybe it will take you five weeks instead of four, or maybe a little longer. The important thing is that you’ve written more than you ever have in a short timeframe like this. And he’s right. I worked on my previous work-in-progress, What Luck, on and off for two years, and got to about the same point that I’ve reached in disAppear, after just a month of working on it. So I think that’s pretty good!

*I struggled to break my habit of writing a scene and then re-writing it before moving on to the next scene. I kept my self-editing to a minimum, and only re-wrote three times. There were two different scenes that were difficult to write, and they turned out to be so stilted and dull that I had to re-write just to put some life into them so the story could move forward. And I also re-wrote the first 15 pages of the book, so it can be ready to send in for the manuscript critique at the June SCBWI conference. So I think I’m winning the re-writing battle!

*I also wrestled with my writing ADD – to mitigate my habit of constantly shifting my commitment and attention on my current work-in-progress in favor of new story ideas that seem fresher and more interesting. Although I did think about some of my other stories, I focused only on disAppear and didn’t work on any other novel or short story projects all month. I did write in my Morning Pages journal frequently, and I also wrote three blog posts – two of the blogs were about this challenge. So I think I tamed my writing ADD pretty well – hopefully I can keep it in check!

And I’ve learned some things about my writing, too –

*I’m not really an on-the-fly kind of writer. I really admire those who can leap right into a writing project with abandon and can keep the momentum going, even if they’re not quite sure where the story is headed or how it will turn out; and even if they run into obstacles along the way – they firmly believe they will get there in the end, until they do. I wish I could write with that kind of conviction. But I need to have a sense of where my story is going, and some kind of path to follow from the beginning to the end – even if it gets dark and winding through the middle, I need to know the path is still there. I’ve had the story idea for disAppear for several years, so I had a general sense of the main characters and what would happen to them, and how it reflects the theme of the story. So I did pretty well with the beginning. But I hit a wall in the middle, and struggled to write through it. This past weekend, I had a clear vision of the ending, so I sketched it out and also told Ian about it. But then I had to get back to the middle of the story, and I got bogged down in trying to figure out how it would get to the end. I just couldn’t see the path. I’ve never been into formal outlines, but I do think I need to work out the different plot points and their place in the story. So I got a pack of index cards, so I can write out a different card for all the plot points, and other story details. And then I can lay them out and move them around, until hopefully, they’ll help create a path for the story to follow until the end.

*I’m not too good at faking knowledge. I also admire writers who can write around an unknown topic and keep the pace going – they save any research for later. But I don’t think I can write convincingly about a topic if I don’t know anything about it. I’d rather get some kind of grasp of a subject so I can write about it with enough knowledge to make it clear and realistic. So I sometimes turned to research, online and in books, when I came upon unfamiliar subjects. I’ve learned some things about adolescent psychology, small-town police forces, school codes of conduct, and even bowling – just enough for me to be able to write those topics into the story and then keep moving it forward.

*This story is turning out to be longer and more complex than I could write in just a month’s time. Because I haven’t yet written a complete novel from beginning to end, I’m learning more and more about writing as I go along – things like how develop well-rounded, realistic characters who grow and change throughout the story; how to work a subplot into the main plot; and how to pace the ups and downs of the story arcs while building the novel toward the climax. I’ve been figuring it out, with the help of some of the many writing books that I have. And also by thinking about books that I’ve read and paying attention to the book I’m currently reading. I think that reading is as important as writing, and can help improve it.

*I can’t write for many long hours at a time. My attention span begins to wander (an ADD symptom, I think!); I start to feel sore and tired, and sometimes I need to step away from the computer and do something else. I did go out a few times, and also spent some time with Ian and my family. And I worked full-time all month, too. But that’s OK. Chris Baty also says, “Despite what you may have learned last month, sustained writing is best accomplished as part of a balanced lifestyle.” So I’ll keep trying to find the balance of my writing with day-to-day life.

As of tonight, I’ve written just 20,457 words – only 66 pages. But this isn’t the end; it’s just the end of the beginning. I’m going to continue to work on disAppear tomorrow, as well as the next day and the day after that, and every day until I get to the end. I’ll still keep track of my word count, and resist the urge to go back and do a lot of re-writing – at least until the first draft is finished. And I’ll focus on the goal of having a completed manuscript by the time of the June 11^th SCBWI conference.

After the experience of this “March Madness” writing challenge, I feel pretty confident that Spring will be a time of creative and productive writing. And I’ll keep posting about my book’s progress, until the time that I can say that I’ve made it to the end!