Monday's Muse - A Creatively Inspiring Weekend, Part 1: David Sedaris

I’m feeling creatively rejuvenated and inspired after a great weekend of literary and musical events: David Sedaris at Poughkeepsie’s Bardavon 1869 Opera House on Friday night (April 5th), and An Evening With Neil Gaiman and Amanda Palmer at Bard College’s Richard B. Fisher Center on Saturday night (April 6th). So now I have not just one but three amazing artists to add to my creative muses.

I’ve been a fan of David Sedaris’ humorous essays and stories since I first read his “SantaLand Diaries” essay in the mid-‘90s – his funny account of working as a Christmas Elf in Macy’s cracked me up so much, and I could really relate to his cynical view of the retail holiday season, especially after years of working in retail.

David Sedaris has written several books, been featured on NPR, and has done many book tour appearances, including a 2008 event at the Bardavon. Barnes & Noble had sold his books at the theatre for that appearance, but I hadn’t been able to work that event. So I was glad to have been part of the bookselling team at Friday’s event – we sold books and audio books from his backlist, and took pre-orders for his newest essay collection, Let’s Explore Diabetes With Owls, that’s being released on April 23^rd.

After the audience was seated, my fellow booksellers and I got to watch David Sedaris’ reading from the back of theatre balcony. I was so glad for the opportunity to finally see him perform.

He read from his new book, and also from some new material that he’d written – he was so freakin' funny, telling twisted family tales and giving outrageous observations with a deadpan delivery, like the diary entry he read about an airport worker recognizing him that turned into a raunchy Willie Nelson joke!

He frequently mines his family for his writing – one memorable story involved his father bugging him incessantly to get a colonoscopy, until he finally went through it, with his sister Lisa as moral support. Afterwards, he felt so blissful from the anesthesia (Propofol, like Michael Jackson used) that he wondered why he didn’t get a colonoscopy sooner. As soon as he got home, his father called to check up on his test results. Sedaris said that he told him that they found something, and it might be cancer – just to hear his father’s reaction! (Definitely a twisted family tale!) After his reading, he answered questions from the audience, and someone asked if he really said that to his father, and Sedaris said yes – that his family has that kind of sense of humor. Another family would never find humor in that type of situation, but the Sedaris family does, and that’s one reason why he’s on the stage now.

David Sedaris told the audience that it was his father’s 90^th birthday that night, and asked everyone to help him with something – he borrowed a cell phone from an audience member and called his father, leaving him a voice message saying that he was at the Bardavon in Poughkeepsie and that he had a message for him – he held the phone out and all of us in the audience yelled “Happy Birthday, Lou!” It was so cool that he included us in his birthday greeting to his father.

Afterward, David Sedaris signed books for audience members, and spent time having conversations with every one of us. He is known for being accessible and accommodating to his fans, and will sign for hours to make sure that he meets and speaks to everyone. When it was my turn to ask him to sign my CD of his “Live at Carnegie Hall” performance, he told me I have great hair, and signed, “To Linda – Great Hair – David Sedaris.” That was so awesome! I told him that I was one of his booksellers for the event, and that I was so glad to finally be able to see his reading, and he shook my hand. He asked where the store was, and said that he’s doing a bookstore tour soon, where he can spend even more time with the readers.

I love the humor of David Sedaris’ books, but his generosity to his readers makes me an even bigger fan of his – for life. And it reinforces my vow that if (when) I have a book published and am ever fortunate enough to do book signings, I’ll make sure to take my time with every reader, acknowledging them and letting them know how much I appreciate them. Because it’s a great thing for a writer to create a book, but it’s the readers who truly bring that book to life.

(posted on Monday, April 8, 2013 3:00am)

Sunday on SCBWI - Shop Talk, Saturday March 30, 2013

It was really good to see such a great turnout for last Saturday’s Shop Talk meeting of our Hudson Valley SCBWI group. Especially since it was a holiday weekend, and Kim Sabatini and I had anticipated that people would be having relatives over, doing holiday activities with their kids, or other similar plans. Thanks to all who made it, and for those who couldn’t, here’s a recap of Kim’s talk on revision.

 Kim was an ideal person to speak on the topic – she spent three-and-a-half years writing and revising her YA novel Touching the Surface before it was sold to Simon Pulse and published in October 2012. She also recently sent out her already-revised manuscript of her second novel, The Opposite of Gravity, to her agent, and is awaiting feedback so she can revise it some more. Here’s her blog post about her time spent in the “revision fort” - http://kimberlysabatini.com/blog/2013/03/back-in-the-revision-fort/

She brought in several drafts of Touching the Surface, as it went through the editorial process with her publisher, for an interesting show-and-tell: each revised draft had editorial notes and comments for yet more revision on every single page. All those notes might seem a bit daunting, but Kim said she valued the revision process because it helped Touching the Surface become the book it was meant to be.

William Faulkner famously said, “In writing, you must kill all your darlings,” and Kim agreed with his wise advice. Sometimes we really love a certain aspect of our work – a turn of phrase; a scene; a plot point; or even a character – and want to stick with it, even if it’s not really right for our project. But she said we shouldn’t get wedded to our work – we should have an open mind to change. If something doesn’t really fit, and it seems like we’re working too hard to keep it, then maybe it really doesn’t belong.

She’s had experience with this in her revision work – one major change in her rewrite for Touching the Surface didn’t exactly involve killing, but instead aging one of her main characters: four-year-old Oliver, who became a 16-year-old due to editorial advice that teen readers can better relate to characters close to their own age. It was a challenge, but ultimately, it made Touching the Surface an even better book. I told Kim that I felt the original spirit of the story stayed intact, throughout all of her revisions from the first draft to her final book. And I think that’s important – you can kill your darlings, but keep your book’s fundamental energy.

Kim brought several books on revision that she recommended – Self-Editing for Fiction Writers: How to Edit Yourself Into Print by Renni Brown and Dave King (2004, William Morrow); Hooked: Write Fiction That Grabs Readers at Page One and Never Lets Them Go by Les Edgerton (2007, Writer’s Digest Books); and the workbook Novel Metamorphosis: Uncommon Ways to Revise by Darcy Pattison. She shared in detail two that were particularly helpful in her own revision process: Writing It Right: How Successful Children’s Authors Perfect and Sell Their Stories by Sandy Asher (2009, Writer’s Institute Publications) and The First Five Pages: A Writer’s Guide to Staying Out of the Rejection Pile by Noah Lukeman (1999, Simon & Schuster).

Sandy Asher (http://usawrites4kids.drury.edu/authors/asher/) is the author of numerous books and plays for children and young adults, and did a workshop at one of the Pocono conferences that Kim attended.  Her writing guide (available online at http://www.writingitright.net/bm449/wir_2.htm ) gives detailed examples of several authors’ revisions of their books, from picture books to chapter books to middle-grade and YA novels, using the actual manuscripts so the reader can follow the process from first draft to published book. And she shows how the authors were challenged to answer nine essential questions that editors ask when considering a manuscript, such as “Whose story is it?”, “What does the main character want?” and “What stands in the way?”

I really liked how Sandy Asher showed the steps of the revision process with the authors’ manuscript drafts. It’s rare to see authors’ early attempts at writing their books, and even when how-to-write books use writing examples, they are usually from published works. I think that seeing these embryonic drafts can help to demystify the development of a book as it goes through revision.

Noah Lukeman (www.noahlukeman.com) is the president of Lukeman Literary Management Ltd, and has also been an editor for several major publishers, so he’s got a lot of experience and knowledge of the publishing industry. Kim said The First Five Pages is extremely helpful with beginnings. I have the book too, and I agree.

Those of us who attended last spring’s SCBWI First Page Event know very well how crucial the beginning of a story is – it’s so important to capture the attention of an agent or editor right away because they always receive so many manuscripts and usually just look over the first several pages of each one before moving on to the next. The purpose of a well-written, intriguing beginning is to make them want to keep reading.

Kim shared some of Lukeman’s straightforward, practical advice on sound, vocabulary and style – just some of the topics he covers.

The sound and rhythm of a story is important, especially with dialogue. Use dialogue as a tool to build the characters and world of your book. He suggests listening to others talking and then mimic it in writing. Read your dialogue passages out loud, to make sure they sound natural. And don’t worry about repeating the word “said” – it disappears in the reading. Also, cut out everyday small talk like, “Hi – how are you?” Dialogue should move the story forward, but shouldn’t be used to convey backstory – that sounds forced.

Avoid cliched metaphors and similes, like “raining cats and dogs.” Instead, use specific words that are clear to the reader. Also, cut out any words that aren’t essential to the story. And be careful of using repetitive words and phrases, like the word “ran” in an action story. Read the passage out loud to catch these recurrences. Or use the word-processing program’s “find” and “replace” tools to seek out and correct over-used words.

Lukeman also says to remember that books are as much about what readers bring to them as what is actually written. Different readers may interpret a book in many different ways, and readers may also have different conclusions depending on when they’ve read the book. He used Moby Dick as an example – it may have a different meaning to a twenty-year-old reader than to the same reader at age seventy.

Everyone has different writing habits and methods for revision. Kim said that Lauren Oliver (author of the Delerium series) wrote her first novel, Before I Fall, on her Blackberry while on the NYC subway and e-mailed the chapters to herself so she could revise them later at home. Laurie Halse Anderson (author of Speak and many other acclaimed YA novels) writes “fast and dirty first drafts” (as Kim described them) – she’ll start with a loose story arc, and then adds in layers of character and plot development with each draft. My own writing style is a lot like Kim’s – she said she needs to write with detail from the start, and will ponder character traits, plot arcs, and music playlists for her story before writing a full draft. I can relate – I spend a lot of time mulling over my book projects in my head, especially when I’m at work and can only sneak a jotted note in my pocket journal from time to time. Then when I’m finally able to have some time at the computer, I try my best to write as much of what’s on my mind as I can. I’m in the habit of writing a chapter and then revising it before moving on to the next. And I know that’s one thing that’s kept me from completing my novel projects. Kim encourages everyone to finish a first draft before going into the revision phase, so there’s a complete manuscript to work with.

Since the meeting, I found and ordered a copy of Writing it Right from barnesandnoble.com – I’m really looking forward to getting the book and seeing how I can learn more about revision from it. I also pulled The First Five Pages from my shelves and am re-reading it, so I can learn to strengthen the beginnings of my current projects. That should be very helpful in preparing the first chapter of my teen novel for our Target Audience Feedback Shop Talk in June!

Wednesday on Writing: SCBWI Hudson Valley’s First “Shop Talk” of the New Year – Saturday, January 26, 2013

Our Hudson Valley chapter of the Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators (SCBWI) had its first “Shop Talk” meeting of the New Year on Saturday (January 25^th) at Barnes & Noble. We had nearly 25 in attendance – it was great to see a good turnout of fellow writers and illustrators for children and teens.  Thanks to all who came on an icy-cold Saturday morning, and for those who couldn’t make it, here’s a recap:

After we all put on paper-sticker name tags (great new idea from our Shop Talk leader Kimberly Sabatini!) and introduced ourselves, Kim gave a talk about writing conferences and social media networking.

She has a lot of experience with conferences – her first SCBWI Eastern NY conference in 2007, where she met authors Laurie Halse Anderson and KL Going, inspired her to follow her dream of writing her Young Adult novel Touching the Surface, and also started her on the path of learning about writing and publishing that helped her achieve her book’s publication this past October. (Kim’s blog post about how this conference changed her life can be found here: http://kimmiepoppins.livejournal.com/105161.html)

SCBWI offers two national conferences: each winter in New York City and each summer in Los Angeles. Kim will be attending the NYC conference this weekend (February 1 – 3) and I’m sure will have a great report for all of us at next month’s Shop Talk! Here’s the link for more info: http://www.scbwi.org/Conference.aspx?Con=11

The Summer conference in Los Angeles is scheduled for the weekend of August 2 - 5, 2013.  The detailed information hasn't been posted yet, but will be found on the SCBWI website, under Events - International Conferences, as soon as it becomes available. Kim plans to be there too, so we can look forward to hearing about it all at the August Shop Talk. 

Kim’s favorite conference so far was her first one in LA in 2011. There were so many inspiring authors, including Laurie Halse Anderson, Donna Jo Napoli, Libba Bray and Gary Paulson. She said it felt like “here [meaning Shop Talk] on steroids!” Her blog posts about the conference are here: http://kimberlysabatini.com/blog/tag/la11scbwi/.

Kim blogs always have a lot of pictures – she thinks pictures make them more interesting, and I think they are a great window into the conferences for those of us who can’t be there.

Kim has gone to every NYC conference since 2008, and I went to the 2009 and 2010 conferences with her. She said the NYC conference has a more professional feeling, because it’s in the “city of publishing.” It’s a great place for not-yet published authors to network and learn about submissions and acquisitions. The LA conference is a bit longer and doesn’t feel as serious. It has a professional track of speakers and has a larger group of published pros socializing, at events like the costume ball. She described it as being “like a family reunion.” She filled out a feedback form at the last NYC conference, requesting a professional track, and this year there will be one. At the end of each SCBWI conference, feedback forms are passed out to attendees – it’s important to fill them out because the conference planners do listen and tweak their upcoming programs with the comments in mind.

There are also several smaller regional conferences that are near the Hudson Valley area. I referred to the current issue of the SCBWI bi-monthly bulletin (that’s part of the membership benefits – see http://www.scbwi.org/Pages.aspx/Membership-Benefits for details) that lists the regional events for February – May. SCBWI’s Eastern Pennsylvania chapter has their annual Pocono Mountain Retreat on April 12 – 13 (here’s the link for info: http://scbwiepa.org/events.html) and the New England chapter’s annual conference will be the weekend of May 3 – 5 in Springfield, MA (for details, see: http://www.nescbwi.org/news/) Kim has been to the Pocono retreat several times, and said that it’s a special and intimate-feeling weekend – only about 100 people attend, and there’s a great chance to talk, and even eat, with the authors and editors. There are professional critiques, and hands-on workshops on topics like revision, so anyone going should bring along their work-in-progress.

And, of course, there’s the Eastern New York conference, set for September 21 – 22 in Fishkill. It’s still in the works, and information hasn’t been posted on the website yet, but our regional director Nancy Castaldo and the planning committee is lining up a great faculty list, with several renowned authors, as well as editors, agents and art directors. It’s being expanded from what had been an all-day program to one full day and one half-day, with an added social event planned for that Saturday evening. When details become available, they’ll be posted on the website: http://scbwi-easternny.org/conferences.php.

There are also several conferences offered by other organizations, such as the annual Rutgers One-on-One Plus conference in New Brunswick, New Jersey, sponsored by the Rutgers University Council on Children’s Literature (RUCCL). This year it will be held on October 19, and anyone interested must apply for it. Kim has attended twice, and she said it’s a very overwhelming all-day event. Each person is paired up with a professional mentor (an author, editor, agent, illustrator or art director) for a critique of a work-in-progress. There’s also a Five-on-Five small group session, with five pairs of mentors/mentees. The ratio is always one to one. Kim said that at her first Rutgers conference, she was paired up with an agent, and even though she was nice, they just couldn’t relate to each other at all. Kim said that sometimes that just happens! But the second year, Kim had a great, helpful mentor. Her reports on these conferences are here: http://kimmiepoppins.livejournal.com/tag/rutgers. All in all, she said that Rutgers is an amazing experience, and she recommended it to us all.

Fees for conferences vary, depending on where the conference is held and how many days it is. This year's Eastern New York conference will cost more than the previous ones, but that's because it will now take place over a day and a half. Kim said that most of us wouldn't have to stay in the hotel, so we could save on that fee. She said that the international conferences are the most expensive, but SCBWI members can save by registering early. For example, the early registration for the NYC conference was $380, compared to (the ballpark figure of) $415 for members and $515 for non-members. The hotel fees are always extra, but some hotels have special pricing for conference attendees. And many conferences, such as the NYC one, offer intensive workshops or professional critiques at an extra charge. 

About half of us have been to at least one writing conference, and Kim encouraged all to attend one if possible. She said that great things can happen at these events, on both professional and personal levels, and I agree. I remember how amazing and overwhelming it was to see the hundreds and hundreds of people at the 2009 NYC conference – it gave me a great perspective of how huge and vital the world of childrens and teens publishing is, and it was a good feeling to be able to be a part of it all. And also at that conference, Kim and I, along with several of Kim’s writing friends, got to meet Jay Asher (author of the amazing YA book Thirteen Reasons Why, who had given an funny and inspiring luncheon talk that day) and even had dinner with him after hours – he proved to be not just a fantastic writer but also a wonderful and down-to-earth person, who related to us all on his level and made me believe that all of us have potential and value as writers. I became a fan of his forever, and I think Kim will agree that she did, too.

And  Kim excitedly told us how she and her online writing friend/critique partner, Jodi Moore, met up at the 2009 Pocono Retreat, and because they hadn’t been able to sign up for a professional critique, they decided to spend the time critiquing each other’s work. All of the comfortable seats in the lobby were taken, so they found a wooden bench and spent a wonderful and productive couple of hours sharing and commenting on each other’s work… until a man came up to them and asked them why they were sitting in the golf bag holder! Kim and Jodi had a good laugh, and it became such a fond memory for them that, in every following year that they’ve gone to the Pocono Retreat, they make sure to take a picture of themselves sitting in the golf bag holder – and also with their books that each of them has had published.

The point of these conference anecdotes is that, as important as it is to attend these conferences for professional critiques and the opportunity to submit as a conference attendee to publishing houses that are otherwise closed to unagented manuscripts, another great thing about a conference is the opportunity to meet like-minded and similarly creative people and make new friends and even find critique partners.

Kim also talked about a great way to keep in touch with these people, and to meet others in the writing community – through social networking. One of the best resources for children’s and teens’ writers is www.verlakay.com. Verla Kay is a successful picture book author who shares her knowledge and resources on this site, and also maintains a chat board for writers, illustrators, editors and agents. It’s a great place to meet other writers; find answers to publishing questions; discuss publishing trends; share successes along the way to publication; and most importantly, to be a part of a huge, supportive, creative and helpful writing community. Kim is an avid “Blue-Boarder” and recommended that we all check it out: http://www.verlakay.com/boards/index.php.

Of course, there’s the ubiquitous Facebook – most of us are on the site and have joined our Hudson Valley Shop Talk Facebook group. We will continue to use our Facebook page to communicate with our Shop Talk members between the monthly meetings, and to share news, thoughts and ideas. Also, many professional authors have Facebook fan pages that can be followed by anyone.

Twitter is also an extremely popular social network site, for sharing thoughts and information in posts that are no more than 140 characters long. Many authors and publishing professionals are on Twitter, and can be added to a user’s list of accounts to follow. For anyone who’s not too familiar with it, I found a brief, useful description of Twitter here on PC Magazine’s website: http://www.pcmag.com/encyclopedia_term/0,1237,t=Twitter&i=57880,00.asp. And Shop Talk member Bill Joel, who’s a middle-grade author and poet, mentioned that you can find different writing groups on Twitter, such as KidLitchat, MGLitChat, YALitChat, and AskAgent – these usually have monthly group live chats, and then post the transcripts.

Tumblr is an interesting site – its users can post photos, videos, music and links, and can follow and also share each others’ posts. It’s also a good way to follow authors, and publishing and media topics. Here’s a description of Tumblr from a tech website: http://www.techopedia.com/definition/27517/tumblr.

I learned about Pinterest from Kim – it’s a kind of public visual bulletin board, where images pertaining to different topics and interests can be posted, and also shared among users. Here’s a definition of Pinterest that I found online: http://www.techterms.com/definition/pinterest. Kim has created different Pinterest boards of visual images for Touching the Surface (http://pinterest.com/kimsabatini/touching-the-surface/) and her novel-in-progress, The Opposite of Gravity (http://pinterest.com/kimsabatini/the-opposite-of-gravity/). I think it’s a cool way to brainstorm story ideas and also to share different aspects of a story with people.

Linkedin is a more professional type of social network, most well-known in business circles, but many writers use it, too. I don’t know a lot about it, but found a good definition of it on this site: http://whatis.techtarget.com/definition/LinkedIn. And I also found a good article, about its usefulness to writers, by Linda Parkinson-Hardman, who wrote LinkedIn Made Easy. Here’s the link: http://womanontheedgeofreality.com/2012/06/12/how-authors-and-writers-can-use-linkedin-effectively-your-profile/.

Many writers also have their own websites, or keep a blog on a blog hosting site, like LiveJournal (www.livejournal.com) or Google’s Blogger (www.blogger.com). The good thing about these blog hosting sites is that they are free – and can be used until you’re ready to maintain the monthly or yearly fees that many website domain hosting services charge.

Many of us (like Kim) use many of these sites; some use one or two sporadically; and some aren’t really into social networking. Of course, it’s best to do what you feel most comfortable doing online, but Kim said that social networking is important to building an author’s platform.

Platform building is basically a way to become visible to the public, and to build an audience for your work. Kim said it’s important to create a platform early, before publication, because it can build a supportive readership. Agents and editors are usually attracted to writers who have developed a platform because those writers can have a built-in audience for their book, and that makes the professionals’ jobs of marketing and promotion easier.

Kim stressed that the main purpose of creating a platform is not to focus on your own agenda, but to make genuine connections and interactions with people in the writing and publishing community.

She started by following her favorite authors, agents and editors – especially those she’d met at conferences and book events – on their blogs, Twitter and Facebook pages. She said that many times you can follow an author you like, or one who you think your work is similar to, and then find their agent and editor, and begin to follow them, too. Or you can meet an agent or editor at a conference, and then find their list of authors on their social network pages. The goal is support the work of other authors – Kim has always promoted other new authors’ books as they’ve come out and then they returned the favor by posting about Touching the Surface as it was being released.

You can also look up different public and school librarians, teachers and parent groups online – a great way for picture book and middle-grade writers to find places for school and book visits.

And Kim also mentioned that some authors do video conferencing, through “vlogs” on video sites like YouTube. It’s like a virtual conference or book event, and can reach audiences that are outside of your immediate community or region.

There wasn’t much time to cover each of these social networking sites in detail, but Kim (who I think is a queen of social networking!) said if anyone has questions or wants to learn more about any specific sites, to just get in touch with her.

Near the end of the meeting, Kim had us all break up into smaller groups for writing critiques. There were groups for picture books, chapter and middle-grade books, and young adult books. I think it worked out well – it gave more Shop Talk members a chance to read and get feedback on their work in smaller, more specific groups than if just one member shared their work with the whole large group.

So going forward, we’ll have these small group sessions during the last hour of our meetings, after the first discussion hour. Kim has posted the information about setting up the groups on our FB page.

Also, there’s a “wish list” post, where you can suggest topics for discussions at upcoming Shop Talks.

All in all, I think it was a great start to the New Year – I hope the information was helpful (and that this blog post isn’t too long or boring!) And I hope that everyone was as inspired as I was! Here’s to a productive and accomplished 2013 for all!

New Year's Day 2013 - Just Be

I hope everyone has had a fun and safe New Year's Eve 2012, and a happy New Year's Day 2013, however you celebrated the turning of the year.

This New Year was a bit different for me and my boyfriend Ian. In past years, we have enjoyed some great evenings of music at the (sadly, now closed) Cubbyhole Coffeehouse that were presented by our friend Lee Brown, musician and proprietor of the coffeehouse. We've also spent some memorable New Year's Eves in New York City, although not at the massive Times Square ball drop. One year we saw an amazing and inspiring performance by Patti Smith at the Bowery Ballroom, and another year we attended an adventurous and surreal dance party at the (now closed) club Mother, with a great group of people, including our good friends Jayne and Len Warner. And at the turn of the Millenium we celebrated with our own dance party, organized by Jayne and Len, at Beacon, NY's historic Howland Center - it was a fun and unforgettable time.

Even when there hasn't been a great music event or party, Ian and I have at least treated ourselves to a nice dinner out at one of our area's many excellent restaurants - we've gone to Dickens (sadly, also closed); River Station, and Cosimo's (all in Poughkeepsie, NY). And we've come home in time to watch the ball drop in Times Square on ABC-TV's broadcast of Dick Clark's "New Year's Rockin Eve."

But this year, I've been sick with some kind of lingering cold/flu since Christmas Eve. So we decided it was best to stay in. At first, I was disappointed, because New Year's Eve is the best excuse for a night out, but we made the best of it and actually had a good night. We made dinner - salmon with sour cream-dill sauce and roasted potatoes, and chocolate-filled crepes with strawberries for dessert. And we toasted the New Year with glasses of wine as we watched the ball drop on TV. It wasn't the same without Dick Clark (RIP) but it was a New Year's tradition nonetheless.

And this morning, I observed another New Year's tradition that I've had since 1984 - playing U2's "New Year's Day" as my first song of the year. I love this live performance at Ireland's Slane Castle, from 2001's Elevation tour (posted on Youtube by dolenc1234).

To me, it just wouldn't be New Year's Day without hearing the enduring Irish rockers' rousing and inspiring song... especially the lyrics, "I... I will begin again." That's always been the my idea of a new year - fresh beginnings; the potential and promise of the future.

And I usually focus on the possibilities of the coming year, with a renewed list of resolutions and goals - most of them centered on my writing. This year my writing goals are the same as always - to finish at least one of my book manuscripts; to post more writing blogs and develop a better online presence; and to practice journal writing more often each week.

In past years, I've usually spent a good part of New Year's Day on my writing, as I planned to do this year. But I still felt sick when I woke up today, and after Ian and I had breakfast (he made French Toast with freah strawberries and blueberry syrup - it was awesomely yummy) and I had a cup of Echinacea tea, I fell asleep on the couch, for the entire morning. I woke up briefly, and started reading "Ruby," a great, magical-realism fantasy novel co-written by one of my favorite authors, Francesca Lia Block, along with Carmen Staton. I got halfway through it, but then fell asleep again, all while Ian took some photographs of the clockworks of an old clock; worked on some of his previous photos with Photoshop; and submitted some pictures for a show at a gallery in Troy, NY, featuring photographs taken on 12-12-12.

When I woke up, I was glad that he'd had so many creative accomplishments, but I felt like I'd wasted too much time sleeping. Until Ian reminded me that I really needed the rest - probably one of the reasons the illness has persisted is that I've concentrated too much on just getting through most of my scheduled workdays and haven't focused on getting better. And he's right. It's probably time to see a doctor and finally get some real medicine to get this out of my system.

And it's time for me to just accept that although this New Year hasn't been perfect, it's been just fine. And instead of being disappointed in myself for still not being able to meet all my New Year's endeavors, I should appreciate my writing ability and the fact that I can still make renewed writing goals for the coming year.

I know I tend to get down on myself when I don't feel like I've lived up to all of my resolutions that I've set for myself each year. I think it's partly because I'm a perfectionist, and partly because this society is so results-oriented. Everyone tends to want to overcome obstacles; reach the finish line; be a winner.

But sometimes, obstacles (like this illness) are a part of life, and they need to be accepted and lived through, not just overcome. This New Year's Day, I needed to rest, instead of sprinting through the starting gate of a new year of opportunities and plans. That doesn't make me a bad person; it makes me human. And I realize that it's okay.

I think I should start this year with a more Zen-like approach, as writer/artist/teacher Natalie Goldberg discusses in her seminars and many of my favorite writing books, such as "Writing Down the Bones" and "Wild Mind." I really love her idea of writing as a spiritual practice that's developed throughout life. I need to appreciate the opportunities when I can write and hope that they come often enough for me to make some progress on my projects, instead of berating myself when I am just unable to write and it can't be helped. I need to get back to enjoying the act of writing in itself, without the pressure of self-imposed time limits. I need to get out of my own way, and just write... and keep writing, and trust that it will eventually lead to meeting my writing goals.

 I need to accept that I'm a person with flaws as well as strengths. I need to appreciate who I am. I need to just be.

The words "just be" were on my mind, and I remembered them in a song. I looked up, and found it in this video on YouTube (posted by oOXenaOo) - "Just Be," by British electronica musician Kirsty Hawkshaw, in  a 2004 collaboration with DJ Tiesto. A new song, a new approach, for a new year...

Happy 2013, everyone.